For the life of me

I just can't do it

This song

This beautiful song

I just can't seem to reach out for it 

To capture it

To keep it

To hear it echo in my heart

Breaking me

Yet soothing my brokenness 

Its so beautiful

and all too sad

The salt of my tears burns my eyes

For the life of me!

For the life of me Jesus!

As I watch the son by the bonfire

His head down

with thoughts of his father

As the beauty of this melody disappears into the cold

After the silence 

No slumber until the sunrise

Its that brown wood

Laid on the pedestal 

For the life of me!

I can't contain

These crying Screaming voices

I don't want to for the life of me!

Can I capture this moment

A moment worth remembering 

A moment I want to forget

But also wish to never forget 

Beauty and sadness surrounds, 

This, 

This dark brown wood on a pedestal 

Where they laid you and put flowers on top

For the life of me

I just wish you still had life in you

Originality

 In the midst of mindful awakening, i bumped Into a few 'I told you sos', and 'whys?'. Not quite a few, but so many I can not count.

The goal you set out for yourself, your life, your future, that's a path for YOU to take. Trust if you don't take this path, no one will cheer you on unless you get there first, Why? Because somehow people respond better to confidence and success. They respond better to positives.

When you can't reach your dream, no one will take the initiative to clear your path, only YOU.

Sometimes only your plans are what you need. Sometimes other souls come in to realign our reality to help us, but if WE are not mentally prepared for the change offered by the outside hand, it will only harm us.

I am a STRONG believer of THE NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS. Hence I do not respond well to pre-arrangements  of my life that i never anticipated.

SOMETIMES it's ok to say no to a job, a friendship, a relationship, a business idea, heck even a new hairdo. Why?

Because this life is yours and you have the upper hand.

My mum, over the past year had been telling me, "stop being swayed by other people's plans, you have your own life to lead".

Only now, i am seeing what she meant.

Stick to your goals.

A lot of people will alter our path trying to help, but analyse the rearrangements before absorbing  them and taking action.

Do not be afraid of being original, besides, 'if your dreams don't scare you, it means they are not big enough'. 👣 EMBRACE ORIGINALITY AND MAKE YOUR OWN REALITY 👤.

Mature cactus

 

One Sunday after receiving news of grief, within my solitude I paid much heed to the ugliness that is of this world. 

The lies, the truths, the haves and have nots, beautiful waves and also hurricanes.

Regret hurts when there is nothing you can do about it. When people die, we pray for them and learn to appreciate those that are still here, alive, the best that we can and know how.

When our hearts mature, like a cactus, we can let go of pain, and bloom and love and be happy.

#marktwain said, "there isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that."

I ask to learn humility and be appreciative of the good that surrounds us even within this ugliness. 

Window to the Soul

 Window to the soul

Brisking through life

Glistening in naivete

Unclothed by insecurities

Blind to beauty created

#Creationed

Window to the soul

Dimming an inner reality

Smiling through pain

Assaulted by trust

Weeping in apparent silence

#silenced

Window to the soul

You are so much more

Open and breathe possibility

Soar toward the heavens

Join the celestial bodies

#bodily

Viness on the Moon

 Viness growing on the moon

Let your roots drink this space potion

You're so far away from the earth

Floating on a heavenly body.

Viness glowing on the moon

Let your shimmering leaves be your wings

Create a balance without gravity

Budding, breathing new life.

Viness on the moon

Your voice is silent

But your thoughts reverberate into space

Echoing into the vast universe. 

Viness growing on the moon

Grow, glow, silently echo...... 

How do you Look at me

I hope that one day

I thought that one day

I used to think

I used to wish

That in her bosom I would lay

So close

Her heartbeat in rhythm with mine

Angel of mine

For you is it so

Is it so when you look at me

Did you hope that one day

Did you believe that one day

What thoughts did you have

You saw me

What wishes did you make

You spoke with me

Do you see?

Do you find solace in my bosom

Or did you find yourself spiraling down

Down through the hollowness of my heart

Did you reach the bottom

Or did it feel, endless, infinite

Infinite falling into darkness

Falling into what you had hoped

Had hoped would be solace

So Angel of mine

Tell me is it so

We forgot him

He was with us.
With one mistake,
We forgot him.

He was not himself.
He reached out,
We forgot him.

You could relate.
His life changed,
We forgot him.

After years, no confidence
Too much plight.
Exercise or none,
We forgot him.

I saw him once.
Hollow eyes with the dead on his back.
Skinny and without hope.
Remembering forgetting him.

He walked in.
His worries floating,
Desperation, weakness,
Strength, manifested.
I had forgotten him.

I saw His face and became unafraid

I have always looked at the sky and keep looking up to the sky.
I never really grasped what it is exactly that I was looking for.
Moving planets and satellites,
Hoping to recognise constellations even though I didn't know them by name,
Perhaps shooting stars to wish upon.

For years I have lost my worries in the sunsets and always carry with me beautiful sunlight after the darkness comes.
A pretty picture of a sunset, silverlined clouds, different shades imprinted on my heart.
Then one day gazing at starlight,
I felt my soul falling off the Planet.
I waited to make sure I wasn't dreaming.
As the star's seemed to be falling,
Moving until they appeared to be beneath me.
I felt a slight so soft jolt of vertigo.
Closer to the world's edge,
I saw the face of God, gazing back at me.
My whole body was filled with chills.
I trembled to see his Majesty,
Invisible, but powerful.
He was just, light.
Living light.
In that moment
Time went by, too fast,
Even too slow.
I saw my past, and,
I was surprised to realise,
In that moment,
I anticipated no future,
At all.
I thought wow.
"Here I am. Surely I am about to die. I feel nothing. Not even the cold.
I said a prayer.
Everything went silent.
And then.
I BECAME UNAFRAID.
The power of God overwhelms me.
It is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.
I saw and see my life unravelling like the bud of a rose.

#Shakespeare said, "God has given you one face, and you make yourself another."
It's ok to be yourself.
Its also ok to become the being that God created you to be.
It makes no sense to try and be someone else.
Seeking approval and acceptance.
When they finally say yes to you and accept you.
When they ask you, "who you are you?", be sure to be proud of whatever you have chosen to become.
I choose to be unafraid and take God's gaze as my forever, silent, but reliable Guide.